Tag Archives: random

January 7, 2016

New Year, New Things

By solarisgaudium

Hey everyone! I hope you all had a fantastic holiday season and that your new year had a great start! I know mine did.

To start off, I’m sorry I’ve been scarce. Last year was a whirlwind of changes, adventure and heartache, which made life difficult, let alone writing! With everything that happened I decided to take a break from a lot of my hobbies and try to spend as much time as I could dealing with everything, one of which was college! I am now attending my first semester at the Brigham Young University of Idaho, and there was still a lot of things I had to do (and still have to do!) I’m staying in a dorm with some friends, and today is my second day of classes, so I’m trying to get used to all of this as well as keep my part-time job AND writing, but I think it’s all coming together.

In case anyone was interested, I’m working towards a Recreational Therapy degree right now, and then when I have the means I will work on my Music Therapy degree, which means a lot of schooling but I think this is the best option for me right now. I’m really excited for my classes, one of which is an English class which will help my writing immensely! I’m looking forward to all of the things I’m going to learn this year 🙂

Another thing I’m working on right now is a Fan-fiction that my friends convinced me to write. If you haven’t played the Dragon Age video game series yet I highly suggest you check them out, it’s a fantastic game! Anyway, one night I couldn’t sleep so I chatted with my other insomniac friends and we got onto the topic of Pokemon. Can you see where this is going yet? Well, I don’t remember who said it first, but we worked out a lot of Pokemon that would fit the personalities and characteristics of the characters from Dragon Age, and it finally ended with ‘You gotta write this!’ So, I did. It’s a work in progress right now and I’m having so much fun with it! I’ve been having to do a lot of research on the characters to make sure I got the personalities just right, and then figure out how these characters would fit in a Pokemon world. If any of you are interested, here’s the link to the first (and only so far) Chapter

Anyway, that’s about all I have so far. One of my new years resolutions is to work more on staying on top of things like my blog and YouTube channel, which both have suffered from being placed on the back burner for months. Going to college will help teach me how to keep a better time schedule, which will not only help me keep good grades, but also learn how to manage my life better.

So I hope you all have a fantastic year full of learning experiences, happiness and success! Thanks for reading!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Personal Life, Uncategorized

September 22, 2015

An Obituary

By solarisgaudium

Yesterday I said good bye to my best friend in the whole world on four legs. My wonderful dog, Josey, had to be put down yesterday at 2 o’ clock after 19 years of life.

He was a chocolate lab/Irish Setter mix. He looked very much like a lab until he got wet, then his hair would curl like a poodle! We got him from the Humane Society in Blackfoot Idaho when I was 4 years old. He was trained to be a hunting dog (ducks to be exact) and he would have been a fantastic hunting dog if it wasn’t for one thing: He couldn’t swim. Whenever we took him to the lake or when he would jump into our ditch in the backyard he would start inhaling the water, causing him to cough. You always knew when he was in the water if you started hearing him coughing! Anyway, because of this he couldn’t get the ducks out of the water, so all of that training and hundreds of dollars his previous owner put in was wasted. So he gave him to the Humane Society, who then gave him to us.

Because of his training he was the best puppy you could ever ask for. He knew how to sit, lay down, come, all of the basics (we never got heel to stick though). He did however, like all puppies, have a bad habit of chewing things, which included my favorite straw hat! One thing that came from his training that we could’ve lived without was whenever one of our hamsters or other small rodents escaped, he would find them and bring them to my room and leave them at my door, which would’ve been helpful if he didn’t slobber them to death! When we first learned this unfortunate fate it became a race to find the rodents before he did!

I don’t remember how old I was, but I was pretty young when we decided to give him a new home. My parents couldn’t deal with the chewing and destruction of floors whenever we left him home alone. That day we went to the park and took a lot of pictures and said our good byes. He went to a young couple for about a year, and I remember vividly the day when they called my mom. I was in the bathtub when my mom answered the phone, and after a few minutes she asked us if we wanted Josey back. I shouted from the top of my lungs YES! and practically fell out of the tub in excitement! Apparently both of the couple worked during the day and would leave Josey alone, which caused him to completely tear up the carpet under the door and bark until he was hoarse, disrupting the neighbors. After trying many different things and failing they decided to see in we wanted him back, so he returned to us and never chewed on out things ever again.

He lived with us ever since. He stuck close to my side when we ran out of the house during the fire, he was always at my feet during dinner or when I sat at my desk, and he always knew when and how to comfort me. We were best friends, and I naively thought we would be together forever. I imagined him being there when I found my husband, when I had my first kid, I even imagined us becoming secret agents and completing missions together (I was very into spies and secret agents when I was young).

But then he got older with me. He started going grey, deaf, and senile, which at first was funny because he started acting like a puppy again, but then he started reverting back to his hunting days and got a very low tolerance for smaller animals. He would attack our cats and chickens if they got too close; he even killed a couple of them. We learned to keep a close eye on him when outside and around any cats we brought inside. There were a lot of close calls with his health: One time he had a very hard time standing and walking. It turned out that he got hit by a car, and we didn’t really know at the time because he kept walking after it happened. He recovered from that and we were told he would live with us for a few more years.

When I left for Virginia I kept tabs on him, asking my brothers how he was doing. As far as I knew he was doing great. But then we came home, and he stopped eating, and if he did eat he would throw it up. It lasted for about a week, and we tried to find out what was wrong. It was the exact same food he always ate, it was even a brand new bag. The other dogs weren’t having problems so we knew it was something to do with Josey. Then we learned he ate something he shouldn’t have before we came home and my mom thought that it was causing a blockage in his stomach. After a few days of prayer and talking to each other, we as a family finally decided it was time. We spent this last weekend with him, saying our final goodbyes all over again, and then all of us went to the vet on Monday. It happened a lot faster than I thought it would, and I kept petting him until the vet said he was gone. Mom, Savanna and I all cried. Hard. The boys went to the lobby to give us some privacy, which I’m grateful for.

Now he is gone. It still hasn’t quite hit me yet. I hope that when it does it doesn’t break me. but I know that he is much happier. I prayed for him last night and I know that he has reached my Heavenly Father’s side, waiting for the time we’ll be reunited. Until then, I’m sure he’s with my Grandpa Fritz, going out with the angels that have been assigned to protect me. It’s very comforting to know that my loyal companion will always be there with me, no matter where I go or what I do. I’m going to miss him, but I’ll see him again. I know it.

2 Comments   |  tags: | posted in Personal Life

September 7, 2015

I’m Alive!

By solarisgaudium

I am so sorry I have been so scarce! So like I mentioned in my last post I was going to be in Virginia for the summer, but what I didn’t know was the internet where I was staying was practically nonexistent, and phone reception was completely unavailable for miles! It was definitely an interesting experience.

So just a quick rundown of what happened:

It took longer than I had hoped, but I found a job working at the Wendy’s in Ruckersville. It was the first job I ever had to actively interact with my coworkers and dealing with customers, so it was a big learning experience. I learned that I handle customers pretty well, I learned how to work a cash register, and I learned I cannot tell if a customer is joking with me or not! There were plenty of times where a customer tried to joke around with me and I took them very seriously! I also had amazing coworkers who always made work an adventure. They were so diverse and unique from each other and anyone else I know from home, which was so interesting! The one thing I will miss the most from this job are my coworkers 🙂

Other than working I pretty much stayed at home dealing with the most dramatic child I have ever met! She is my friend’s niece, and because of some intense family problems she is staying with her grandparents aka my friend’s parents. Now, she thought she was only going to be there for the summer and when she found out she was sticking around much longer she threw a massive fit for a few days, which included calling her mother to try and convince her to let her come home. Now I understand that something like that would be extreme for any child to deal with, especially a nine-year-old, but that was just the beginning of the drama. She came from an abusive home, so she was constantly seeking attention but in the worst ways. If she didn’t get what she wanted, she threw a fit; If someone tried to tell her something, she would say they’re wrong and she’s right; If didn’t want to eat whatever food was for dinner that even resembled vegetables, she threw a fit. Let’s just say there was a lot of unnecessary drama that I had to live with, but by the time I left that home she was doing a lot better. I really think that being where she is and being away from the troubles of home will be very good for her, she just needs to learn how to trust others again. It will be a long and hard road, but I believe in her. She’s in good hands.

The last thing I wanted to mention was as of right now, I am staying at my Dad’s place for the holiday weekend before heading home. My parents were able to pick me up from Virginia and drive back to Pennsylvania so that my friend could spend this weekend with her family before she left. She’ll be heading up here tomorrow and then on Tuesday we begin the long trek back to Idaho! I’m SO ready to be back home with my family and pets! I miss my dog Josey and my snake Balthazar soooo much! And my fish and my cat and my peacocks and- well you get the picture.

Anyway, I’m really enjoying being able to spend time with my Dad before heading home. The last time I got to see him was October of last year, and that was for a funeral so it wasn’t under the best of circumstances. This visit is definitely much happier!

Oh! One more thing I should mention: I got accepted to Brigham Young University of Idaho! I’m a college student! Woo! I’m so happy about this, I have been trying to get all of this madness figured out for months, and it all paid off! I won’t know my track until October, but from the looks of things I’ll probably get a Winter/Spring track. Unless they do something weird like the Spring/Fall track. I hear that can get pretty confusing.

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful summer full of fun and growing experiences! I’ll write again soon, most likely after I get settled back home. Until then, please enjoy this video I made of the neighborhood I was living in! It was so beautiful and secluded, like a magical forest!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Random

April 30, 2015

Just Some Thoughts on my Mind

By solarisgaudium

So I haven’t written about anything for a while, mainly because nothing big is happening right now, but yesterday I had an interesting day and I wanted to share that with you.

First off: I dyed my hair! It’s really cool!

IMG_20150428_192632_499

It’s green! Well, the front and tips are. Man it was so much fun! I wanted something different and I decided I wanted to dye my hair, and it took FOREVER to figure out what color. I finally decided the day before I got it done that I was going to try for Jade Green, and I think it got pretty close 🙂 My favorite descriptions of the color is Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Fairy, and/or Mermaid. It makes me want to make a fairy costume specifically for my hair!

Now the thing I wanted to talk about ties into this new hairdo I have. One of my favorite things to do is mess with people’s heads. Even when I was a small, sweet and innocent 14 year old I liked messing with people. I used to be a janitor, and I ALWAYS had my MP3 player on me, and I would sing to my favorite songs really loud cause I knew I was the only one in the building. Well, I always wanted someone to say out loud how teenagers always have music playing and it would be heavy rock or the like (unfortunately it never happened), you know that stereotype, but in reality I was listening to piano and relaxing music like Pure Moods most of the time. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I started to really like listening to loud pop and a bit of rock music.

So that’s the kind of messing I like. I like to break stereotypes (at least in the beginning it was mainly stereotypes) and show people that I was no ordinary teenager. These days I’ve gotten pretty good at that, and my favorite thing to do is while I’m driving bus. I may have mentioned that I’m a school bus driver, and even  though I’m 21 I tend to look 16, and I love driving by police cars, because when the officers notice me, they tend to have a confused and sometimes a bit concerned look on their faces. It’s the best!

Anyway, the thing I wanted to mention about yesterday is that because I dyed my hair green, which is what young teenagers tend to do more than young adults, I felt like every time I was out in public I was shattering every stereotype in the world! Even though that really wasn’t true, I was really confident in myself, which I thought was a really great thing. But then I near the end of the day I started feeling sort of uncomfortable, like I shouldn’t be so proud of my comfort around people, and I started getting negative looks and feelings towards me. Let’s just say my depression started to get the better of me.

But then I read a post on tumblr. It read

“how the heck do people just stay motivated their entire lives? what drives you? I got out of bed once and i’ve been exhausted ever since.”

And someone replied with “You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself”

Now I didn’t completely agree with hating life, however I thought of it this way: Live in a way that life will regret ever trying to mess with you.

And that reminded me that I don’t have to care what other people think. I like my hair, I like the music I listen to, I like my clothes, and I like my way of LIFE, and that’s all that matters. I’ve heard that saying all my life, but now I finally understand how important it is to remember to like yourself, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

So I just wanted to share this experience, mainly because it’s been on my mind for a while, but I also wanted to share it for those who might need a reminder to be happy with you, like the song by Colbie Caillat “Try”. If you haven’t heard that song before, I suggest looking it up, because it’s such a good song! It’s one of my top faves!

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic day, and thanks for listening to my ramblings. TTYL!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Random

March 28, 2015

Spring Break!

By solarisgaudium

Dudes I’m so happy right now! This week is spring break, which means I can finally relax and concentrate on the things I’ve been neglecting. So when I hung out with a few of my friends after work yesterday I mentioned how I got the next week off, and I found out one friend has two weeks of break, last week and this next week, another only has one day, and my college friends don’t get a break till after the semester! I thought that was pretty interesting.

Anyway, I am happy to announce that I have conquered my writers block, which means I’ll be able to work on my book again! I’m so close to finishing this draft that I can barely stand it! I know I’ve said this before, but I’ve been working on this book for years, and having it so much closer to finishing is a fantastic feeling. The closer I get to finishing the more impatient I get, so I have to make sure I’m not rushing the ending, so that it doesn’t end weird. Luckily I have a few friends willing to read it when it’s done and help me fix whatever inconsistencies I have and make sure it flows smoothly 🙂

I’ll continue to post my progress, and hopefully my next post will say something like “IT’S FINISHED!!” or something. And when I mean finished, I mean the first draft. The next step will be the fine tweaking and then figuring out how to publish the thing. I have no idea how long this will all take, but I have a goal to get at least all of the major writing and editing done before I have to get ready to leave for the summer so that I can work on the next book while in Virginia.

I hope all of you have a fantastic spring break if you have one, and if you don’t, I’m sorry for your loss. See ya!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , | posted in Writing

March 18, 2015

A Month of Practically Nothing

By solarisgaudium

So I just sorta need to vent a bit so you don’t have to read this. Who knows, I might put something inspirational at the end like I try too, but we’ll see what happens. This will probably be just rambling 😛

SO! Have you ever felt like you’re life is going nowhere? Like you’re in a rut and not quite sure how to get out? I’ve been feeling this was for a while now. I think most of it is because I’m SO excited for things that are going to happen in a few months. At the beginning of June I’m going east with my Best Friend 5-ever and we’re going to get jobs for over the summer. I’m excited for this for a few reasons: 1. We’ll be in Virginia and I’ve never been that far east    2. It will be the first time I’ll get a full-time job    3. It will be the longest amount of time I’ll be away from my family.

Now. What my theory is is that I want it to be June so badly that time has decided to slow down JUST FOR ME and it feels like an eternity. Plus, I am slipping into this routine everyday where I go to work, I go home and lounge around, I go back to work, I go home and lounge again, then try to sleep, then the cycle starts all over, with a few different activities on different days. This is very frustrating for me because then I feel like I’m doing nothing with my life, when in reality I’m just waiting. Waiting for my adventure to begin.

To make things worse, there are so many things I could do between my work shifts, but I just spend all day either watching YouTube videos or on Tumblr or web surf the same pages over and over again. I could be working on studying for my SAT, I could be recording music for my YouTube channel. I could be oh I don’t know WRITING!

But I’m not. So I have a question for you guys who read this. Do you have a way to motivate yourself to do things you should? It’s very possible my depression is why it’s so hard for me to be productive, but if there’s a fun or cool way to maybe trick myself into doing stuff that would be great 😀

I you have any ideas for me just comment on this post. That would be way cool.

Thanks for reading this rambling of mine. I do feel better already just by writing it out 🙂 I hope you all have a wonderful day!

2 Comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Random

January 15, 2015

Time for me to be productive! ….. Nah

By solarisgaudium

Have you ever had those days where you really want to do something (whether it be a craft, being active or I don’t know WRITING) and you have some really good ideas/things to do and/or a big desire to do ANYTHING and the second you sit down to do it, you suddenly feel like “never mind, I don’t want to do this right now” but the desire is still there? I’ve been feeling like this for almost two weeks now.

Part of it is because I have depression and I’ve been having problems with it lately (not suicide levels thankfully). But I haven’t been sleeping well, which is really bad since I get up at 6 am for work, my diet is completely out of whack *munches another pretzel* and I really don’t want to deal with anyone, not even my close friends at this point., which makes me even more depressed and not wanting to do ANYTHING.

But you know what? It’s moments like these that I have to remind myself that I’m lucky that I don’t have to deal with chronic depression, I have amazing friends and family who are always there for me no matter what, and I’m working hard on taking care of myself more. When I remind myself of the progress I’m making, or how I have a job that no one my age has, or how I have chances to do incredible things, I feel better. I have so many things I can be grateful for, and wonderful talents that let me help others in way not everyone can. That is what pushes me to work harder to be the person I KNOW I can be.

So if you’re feeling low or you are having a rough time, take a little bit of time to think about all the good things in your life. Even if you can only think of one thing, hold that close to your heart. Let it be the beacon that leads you back into the light of your potential, and use it to push yourself to be as amazing as you can be, no matter how long it takes. And as you find more things to be grateful for, add it to your little store, so that your beacon grows brighter and stronger, guiding you.

Don’t let pain, sadness or grief control you. It will only lead you down a dark hole that is really hard to climb back out of.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Random

November 27, 2014

My First Post!!

By solarisgaudium

Hi! My name is Jasmine and this is my blog!

This blog is going to be for my writing, like my books and short stories, and basically anything else I come up with.

So please enjoy your stay, and don’t be afraid to leave a comment. I want hear from you guys!

Have a great day!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , | posted in Random