Tag Archives: cw class

February 27, 2018

“Alone” and “It’s My Turn”

By solarisgaudium

Well, we have reached the last of what I wrote for my creative writing class. It definitely took a lot longer to reach this point than I had planned, but at least we made it here!

I’ve also decided on what I would like to add onto here next. Lately I’ve had the fantastic opportunity to be a part of multiple DnD campaigns, which resulted in a LOT of new characters. I am in love with the characters I play, and I have put so much into their back stories that I’m wanting to write major points in their lives. In fact, I’m almost finished with one of them! So I would like to share them here.

Until then, please enjoy Alone and It’s My Turn. Alone is another poem that I wrote in a spur of the moment, while It’s My Turn was something I had wanted to attempt to write for a while. Both turned out really well with my class, and I would love to hear any feedback from these as well at the pieces I’ve already shared. Enjoy!

Alone

I walk this lonely road

with tear stained cheeks,

ruffled clothes,

and mud stained feet.

 

The rain pours on my head

masking my tears,

my sorrow,

most of my pain.

 

No one is here with me,

I’m all alone

with my hurt,

with my heartache.

 

I shiver from the cold,

or maybe more.

From something,

a bit unknown.

 

But then I remember

your bright white smile,

your sweet laugh,

your kind nature

 

And suddenly,

I’m not so alone anymore.

It’s My Turn

I opened my eyes and saw nothing at first. There was no obvious light source, but there had to be something because I could see a little bit of my surroundings. And by that I meant that there was a white fog covering the ground, obscuring my view of anything below my mid calf, and the walls were completely void of anything. There was no furniture, no windows, not even a door.

The memory of how I got here was fuzzy at best. I remembered getting ready for school, tripping over cats as I put on clothes and shoes, and trying to figure out where my keys ran off to this time, but after that there was nothing. Just this place.

“What are you doing here?”

The voice behind me had me nearly jump out of my skin. I whipped around and saw that a familiar looking little girl stood behind me, her bright green eyes wide in surprise. “Oh! Uh, hi!” I glanced around to see where the heck she came from. “I seem to have gotten a little bit lost. Do you know the way out of here?”

The little girl shook her head, her brown ponytails bouncing, “I haven’t left in a long time, so I don’t remember.”

I looked at her with confusion, “…I see. Where’s your mom?”

She shrugged, “Not here. It’s always been just me, ‘cause no one else comes here. ‘cept you.”

Her face and the way she spoke were so familiar to me, but I just could not place them at all. “Just you, huh? Sounds lonely. What’s your name?”

The little girl stared at me without batting an eye. “Jasmine, but most people call me Jazz.”

I froze. It was as though the floodgates opened and the images of old photos flooded my mind. I was looking at me! Younger me! From the looks of it she seemed to be 10 or 11, maybe younger. Definitely before I chopped off all of my hair for the first time. She didn’t have that awkward semi-Afro bob, but beautifully wavy hair that reached her waist, even in the ponytails. In shock I looked around again, but I still didn’t recognize where ever it was we were. “Where are we?”

If she notice my shock she didn’t mention it. “We’re in the Control Room. This is where-” A loud blaring noise interrupted her and red lights began to flash. I jumped at the sound of the walls moving, revealing massive computer screens with warnings blinking on them.

Younger Me immediately took a step back and a large console rose up from the ground, swiftly separating us. The little girl began to push various buttons until the screens changed to show what looked like one of my classrooms. The desks were rearranged into groups, and the camera was facing a group of three people, two girls and a guy.

“Wait is that-?” I peered closer at the screen and recognized one of the students. This was my Psychology class! The girl was someone who always sat next to me, but we never spoke to each other.

The alarms were still blaring, which was beginning to give me a headache. Younger Me pressed more buttons and the alarms were silenced, but the lights still flashed, which gave the room an ominous feel to it.

“Situation?” Younger Me asked, and a stream of words filtered onto the screen:

Group Assignment: Plan out project

Status: No input given

Current analysis of group: Male is uncaring/cold

Female 1 has tight schedule – Might not be able to rely on her

Female 2 seems nice

Now that the alarms were off I could hear what was happening on screen. The group was throwing out ideas for the project, the two ladies talking with the young man just sat there staring at his desk looking extremely bored.

I looked at Younger Me and saw that she was frowning and- were her hands shaking? She hesitated before pushing a button on the console. My voice rang out from behind the camera, “What about emotions?”

One of the ladies was writing things down and added that to the list, but did that guy just roll his eyes?

Younger Me must have thought so because I heard her moan in dismay. The alarms came back on in full force and words flashed across the screen in bold letters: ABORT INTERACTION! HATRED SENSED!

Wait, hatred? I saw annoyance from a trouble group mate, but not hatred. I looked back at Younger Me, who was frantically pushing buttons. The camera seemed to slouch back and look slightly downward, and a bar in the lower right corner labeled ANXIETY began to rapidly rise.

“Activate Masking!” Younger Me called out, sounding very scared and on the verge of tears. The screen flashed and a nineties style computer animation played over the scene, a pixilated mask covering the camera. The Anxiety levels seemed to stop increasing and I heard my voice again, “I’m okay with whatever you guys wanna do.”

Before anyone could answer, the screens went dark and slid back into the walls, hiding from view once again. The lights stopped flashing, the alarms were silenced, and the console sank back into the floor.

Younger Me sighed with relief and sank to the floor, tears shining in her eyes. My protectiveness nature kicked in and I immediately went over to her and sat down on the floor, one arm on her shoulder and she swallowed back her emotions. “What was that all about?” I asked gently.

Younger Me fought back her tears before answering in a watery voice, “I protected myself. I was gonna get hurt. That’s what I do here, keep me from getting hurt.”

“Hurt from what?”

She looked up at me, “From being left again. I don’t want to be left again by my friends again.”

I stopped and bit my lower lip. I knew exactly what she was talking about and I had to keep myself from crying too. I remember all too vividly of my so called ‘friends’ abandoning me, saying that they didn’t want to be friends but not telling me why to my face. Mom was the one who had to tell me, because she lost their mom as a friend too. They said it was my fault, that I was the one who ruined the friendship, but never an explanation as to why. They never spoke to us again, and I was left wondering for years as to why.

It was that thought that made me realize what was going on. I rubbed Younger Me’s back and said quietly, “You don’t know why Emily and Katie left you, so you’re trying to make sure it never happens again, huh?”

She nodded miserably, the tears she had been fighting so hard finally streaming down her face. “I don’t like being alone. So I make sure that everyone likes me, no matter what. I do whatever I have to to make them happy and not leave me.”

I sighed softly, trying to figure out what to say. A thought came to me, a conversation I had had with someone I trusted, and I knew what I was doing there. I moved so that I was kneeling in front of Younger Me, my hands on her shoulders. “Jasmine, thank you for what you’ve done for me. You’ve kept me safe for a long time, and I know it wasn’t easy, but it’s my turn now.”

Younger me looked up in surprise. “What?”

“It’s my turn now. You can let go and rest, you deserve it. Let me take over from here.”

She looked over to where the console disappeared. “But what if I get hurt again?”

I shook my head, “Let me worry about that. I will make sure that we’re okay.”

She stared at me for what seemed like an eternity before smiling a soft smile. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged tightly, and in the blink of an eye, she was gone.

I stood up and sighed, surveying my new workplace. I had a lot of rewiring and reprogramming to do, which was going to take some time, but in the end it would be worth it. It was time for Adult Me to take over.

2 Comments   |  tags: , | posted in Writing

December 7, 2017

The Boy and the Mountain and I Was Five

By solarisgaudium

Hello everyone and happy holidays! Can you believe that it’s already the end of 2017? This has been a rough year for many people, including me, but one thing I love about December is that we can end a rough year with service, love, and friends/family, no matter what holiday you celebrate.

I’m definitely going to have a lot of changes for next year one of which will be focusing a bit more on my writing. I will have a new job that will be part time, which will allow me to have more time to myself that I really need.

I still have a few more stories that I had written for my creative writing class, and this post will have TWO instead of the usual ONE! I experimented a lot with these two, mainly because they are my first ever fable/legend and first ever poem.

I have always wanted to write a legend, so The Boy and the Mountain was created! My first draft was pretty rough, and a lot of my classmates didn’t recognize it as a legend so hopefully I have improved it.

There was once a village that sat at the base of a mountain. All of the buildings were built with the same stone, which made it seem as though the village had grown from the mountain itself like a living thing. Some of the elders claimed that this was so; that the goddess Cierra who ruled the mountain created the village and its people many years ago.
One day, a boy was born to the strongest warrior and fiercest huntress. They taught the boy their skills as he grew, which made him the most valued member of the community; second to the village leader of course. Unfortunately, his status and skills made him vain and conceited. He would only help others in the village if he knew there was some sort of reward in it for him, and would always do it in full view of everyone else.
As per tradition, when the boy turned 18 he prepared to take a journey up the mountain in order to be considered a man. Each boy and girl made this sacred journey in order to overcome their weaknesses and receive a special gift from the goddess. However, the boy boasted that he had no weaknesses and would return triumphant. Within days his mother packed for him her finest kills, his father gave him his sharpest knife, and he started up the mountain to begin his trial.
The boy climbed the mountain with little difficulty, coming across a few wild animals on his path. First, there was a bear that threatened to rip the boy to shreds with its giant claws. The boy used his father’s knife and his mother’s skills to fell the bear with ease, laughing triumphantly over its still form. Later, the boy came across a doe with an injured leg that had a small fawn curled up next to it. Without any hesitation, the boy walked past, thinking that he had plenty of meat from his mother’s kills.
Near his journey’s end, an old woman sat in the middle of the boy’s path. Her clothes were ragged and torn, and her hair was caked with dirt. She looked up at the boy with blind eyes and asked “dear child, would you please spare a bit to eat so that I may continue to the top of the mountain? I got lost on the way and did not bring enough to eat.”
The boy looked at the woman with disgust and scoffed “It’s your own fault that you got lost. I will not share my food with you, or else I will not have enough to return home.” Despite the woman’s pleas, the boy continued upwards until the woman’s cries faded.
The boy reached the top and saw that is was flat stone without any plant or animal life to be seen. In the center of this barren landscape was a pillar of stone, covered with elegant symbols and runes carved into it. The boy approached the pillar and knelt before it, offering his thanks out loud to the goddess for protecting him, but inwardly claiming all of his success for himself.
The wind instantly picked up and swirled around the boy, nearly knocking him over from the force of it. He looked up and saw the most beautiful maiden he had ever seen standing atop the pillar, slate gray robes and marbled white hair billowing in the wind. Her gray eyes stared down at him coldly and she held out a hand over him, saying “Child of stone, you dishonor me and your people with the vain things in your heart. You did not acknowledge the strength I provided for the bear, you did not save the doe, and you scorned the begging woman.” The goddess Cierra transformed into the bear, the doe and the woman as she spoke. “In order to become a man, you must learn to be charitable towards this land and its people, not just your own strength, for such a thing is fleeting.” With these words she took the strength and skill from the boy, leaving him weak and barely able to stand.
With much difficulty and shame the boy climbed back down the mountain. The food his mother provided him had turned to dust, his father’s knife grew dull, and no animal nor human came to assist him. The boy returned to the village a broken man, barely able to lift a bow or sword and unable to regain his strength no matter how hard he tried, and he lived the rest of his days relying on the help of others.

Here is my poem I was Five. I honestly struggled with this one because it was the first time I had to tell a story with minimal words and descriptions. I’m very happy with how it turned out, and I only had to fix a couple of words. Enjoy!

I was five when we first met

On an old and cracked sidewalk

Clothed in yellow and white

We went and saved the world

 

I was eight when you were drawn

In pencil on a white page

Wearing skates, mask, and cape

You lived high in the sky

 

I was fourteen when I left

To become more like my age

I had no need for you

You belonged in my past

 

I was gone for many years

Gave you no more than a glance

Kept you in my childhood

Rarely looking back

 

I was nineteen when I returned

Dusting you off from my neglect

I gave you a new name

But kept most things the same

 

I am twenty three this year

And you have always been with me

So here’s to many years more

Of us now saving the world

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August 21, 2017

“Take My Place”

By solarisgaudium

Long time no see! A lot has been happening lately and I have had so little time to write. It’s been terrible honestly. Good news is I have a new job that is very steady in schedules. Bad news, it’s full time so my free time has been greatly diminished. However! Unlike school, once I leave work I’m done for the day and can just do whatever I want when I get home 🙂

Anyways, here’s my next piece from my creative writing class. I was inspired by this one when I adopted my cat Anya. I had a dog since I was four and had to put him down a few years ago(if I remember correctly I made a post about him). What was really interesting was Anya really didn’t like me the first week or so. She would throw a fit every time I picked her up! Then one morning she was super lovey and cuddly, and I like to think that some version of this story occurred the night before.

Well, enjoy!

Take My Place

I had been a loyal friend and follower my entire life. So much so, I never wanted to leave my post. I was by her side every waking moment, no matter how much my body howled for rest. I was going to stay with her forever, no matter what.

We would go outside together and play games, usually with me chasing her around the tiny yard, pretending that we were secret agents on missions to save the world, or whatever else she wanted to play that day. No matter what we did, I made sure to stay close to her and keep her safe from any harm that could fall upon her.

I still remember vividly the day I left. My body was so old, so frail, that it didn’t take long for the drug to take effect. I slipped from that world into this one almost instantly, one where I was young again and could run free! Not only that, but I was always surrounded by my second favorite thing in the whole wide world: tennis balls. I could play with those to my heart’s content, day in and day out!

It was while I was playing with a ball that could throw itself that I was approached by a man in pure white robes. He was from her family, but I never met him in my previous life. He was actually the one who welcomed me here and showed me everything. “Josey, my good boy, I have a special task for you. Your final part of your mission.”

The ball was completely forgotten. There was a final part? I thought I was done! What could I possibly do now?

The man laughed, “Don’t worry, it won’t take you long. You will get to see your precious girl again, one last time.”

My tail wagged furiously. My Girl! I can finally see her again! I felt so sad when I left her in tears, her heart breaking at my leaving. The thought of being able to do one more thing for her filled my heart to bursting!

The man led me to one of the many viewing pools that littered the ground, many of which were being used by others who lived here, both human and animal.

I had used these pools so many times when I first got here, watching my Girl’s every move throughout the day. I would lay there for hours, never moving. I didn’t need to eat or sleep anymore, so it wasn’t too difficult. I hated myself at first for leaving, even though I didn’t have a choice in the matter, because I thought that I had failed. My Girl was so sad, so heartbroken, and I couldn’t do anything about it. The man had come and helped me be able to move on, but it wasn’t until I felt that she really would be okay that I began to relax and enjoy myself here.

The man pointed at the pool, “Look there my friend! There is your final task.”

The cloudy water began to clear, showing my Girl sitting in a tiny house. She was on her ‘laptop’, or at least that’s what the man called it. I wagged my tail and panted, despite my not needing to breathe. It was my Girl!

The man knelt down next to me, his face beaming, “Yes, that’s her alright! It’s almost time for her to sleep for the night, and when she does, I want you to go down there and talk to a certain someone.”

I looked up at him in confusion. I couldn’t interact with my Girl anymore, that was the first thing I was told when I got here! She can’t see me, let alone touch me, how am I supposed to-

That was when I saw it. A tiny, gray furball barely walking on its four stumpy legs. On closer inspection I saw that one of it’s eyes seemed deformed, the pupil not narrowing completely halfway up. It cried out pitifully, causing my Girl to get up and go to it. She picked it up, much to its offense, and tried to snuggle with it, ignoring the claws and protests the kitten mewled out.

I barked twice in both surprise and slight annoyance. What was my Girl doing with a cat?

The man laughed, “I know, quite a shock, isn’t it?” He placed a gentle hand on my back as we watched my Girl and the kitten go to bed, much to the kitten’s annoyance. “That little one is the first pet she got since you left. She almost didn’t get it at first, if it wasn’t for the prodding of her friends.”

Was I hearing this right? I’ve been replaced?

As though he could read my mind (which wouldn’t be a surprise at this point), the man said “Of course nothing could replace you and the years of service you gave, but that little one is giving our sweet girl a chance to be happy again. Your mission is to go and inform that kitten of the importance her role is.”

I jumped onto the man and licked his face enthusiactically. I would do anything in order for my Girl to be happy again, even if it meant talking with a cat. Readying myself first, I leapt into the pool, it’s swirling water washing over me as I gracefully swam through it towards my Girl. It was a strange feeling. I was never good at swimming because I would always accidentally inhale the water, but this wasn’t really water. It felt more like a thick smoke that pushed me onwards towards my destination.

In the blink of an eye I was there, standing in the tiny house my Girl was living in. The lights were all off, the full moon outside the only source of light coming through the windows. I padded softly to the bedroom, jumping up the single stair with ease. I could barely see my Girl underneath all of her blankets; only her brown hair could be seen. I ached to be able to curl up next to her again, providing warmth like I always did. She always did have trouble with staying warm. I shook my head to clear it, my task had to take top priority.

The kitten was curled up at the foot of the bed, sleeping as far away from my Girl as it possibly could, which made my fur bristle. Can’t it see that she’s cold? It’s an honor to be able to sleep in the same bed and this little furball is squandering it!

With a huff, I prodded at the kitten, my ghostly paw fazing right through it. Apparently, that was all it took because the kitten shot straight up, looking around for the source of its disturbance. “What was that?!” it squeaked. When it’s misshapen eyes landed on me they widened with terror. “What are you?!”

I huffed again. Laying down on the bed I got closer to its eye level. “Obviously I’m a dog, Josey. What are you called?”

The kitten eyed me warily, “…I don’t know. The giant calls me things, but I can’t understand them. Why do you look funny?” It froze. “Are you dead?!”

The cat was smarter than it looked. “Listen cat, I have something important to tell you, so listen closely because I can’t stay long.”

The kitten slowly sat down, its fur still bristling, “What would a ghost dog want to tell me?”

I looked over at my Girl. She hadn’t moved since I got here, which was somewhat unusual compared to how much she would move around throughout the night. In a quite tone I started, “I used to be her companion. I was her protector for years, but I had to go. My body couldn’t last any longer.”

Glancing back at the kitten, I saw it was also watching my Girl. “…Is that why she was sad?”

I was surprised. I didn’t know cats could sense human emotions, let alone a kitten as small as this. “What?”

“She was sad when she got me. She smiled, but I could tell that something about me made her sad. That’s why I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to make her sad.”

This definitely was as strange cat. “I don’t think you make her sad. She has been alone since I left, so maybe she is still lonely.”

The kitten perked up at that, “Really? Then…it’s not my fault?”

I looked over at my Girl again. She shifted in her sleep, throwing her arm over her head as though batting away something. Perhaps she could hear us in her sleep? “Yes,” I said gently, “I think you make her happy.” It was then that I realized what it was I was supposed to tell this small creature. It weighed heavy in my heart, but I knew it was the truth. I looked down at the kitten, who seemed to be no longer scared. In fact, it seemed happier. “Cat, I can’t protect her anymore, so now it’s your turn. You must take my place and give her the help and love that she needs, so that she can be happy. Will you be her new protector and love her like I did?”

The kitten nodded gravely, standing up now with what seemed to be pride, “I promise! I will love her for you, don’t you worry! I will make sure she’s happy for ever and ever!” It stopped and looked confused. “How do I do that?”

It was quiet as I thought about this. The cat was very small, no bigger than my snout. The only thing it seemed to have going for it was the needle sharp claws that all cats had, so that was something at least. “Just be there for her for now. As you get stronger you’ll be able to help more.”

The kitten nodded, “Got it! I’ll do what I can!”

I grinned a large doggy grin. For the first time since I left, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders as the responsibility I had borne for my whole life transferred over to this tiny little kitten. My Girl would be just fine now, that much I knew.

There was a pull at my collar, as though a leash was tugging me back. My time was finished here. I stood up and tried to pat the kitten’s head, hoping that it understood my gesture. “Good luck, cat. Thank you.” With those parting words I leapt upwards towards the heavens, looking back down to see that the kitten had curled up next to my precious Girl.

Anya
Josey

Because I treat my pets as though they are my children, LOOK HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE!

Thanks for reading 🙂

 

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Personal Life, Writing

July 12, 2017

Finals Week and “A Familiar Place”

By solarisgaudium

School sure does love getting in the way of things, doesn’t it? Well, finals week is finally here and things are finally starting to slow down with the end of classes, so I am able to post my next short story!

This one is one of my personal favorites and I’m super excited to share it with you! I wrote it while in the middle of a pretty low depression episode, so it’s a bit dark. Literally. My dad, who also suffers from depression, told me that this piece finally put a description to what he feels and said I did a great job! I love it when I’m praised by my parents, even if I’m in my 20s.

So here it is, I hope you all enjoy it!

A Familiar Place

Sometimes, the most familiar place is the one that only you can visit. A place only you are familiar with because only you go there. Everyone has their own versions of course, but you cannot know them because you cannot visit them. Just like they can’t come to mine. What is this place? It is the mind.

Darkness fills my mind, my castle. The once bright colors are now muted to a grey and black hue on everything that lines the walls and clutters the floor. The doors are closed, vainly trying to protect their precious contents, their precious memories. Some of them have already been breached. The darkness corrupted them and stole their color, their light, their life. The memories became so twisted that they could no longer be recognizable. Like that one, it used to be a happy time where I was first in school after so long. I was so excited. A young, naive teenager. Now look, all you can see is the one, tiny mishap that evolved into years of torment. It’s still going strong, its power influencing all of the memories around it. That one? I was so pure, so innocent. Just a simple question, a simple curiosity. Now it is consuming, engulfing, and dangerous. It feeds the darkness, allowing it to grow in strides and bursts. These are just a couple of so many examples. So much darkness. So much corruption.

If we go deeper, the darkness seems to grow, thicken, and suffocate. Tread carefully – one false step and you could become lost. I have many times, and I learned it is very hard to get back out. The windows don’t help. Their curtains block out all light, all scenery. I can never use them for direction or fresh air. I’ve tried many times to open them, but the darkness keeps them shut tight.

The darkness loves to throw things into the hallways, making me trip and stumble with every step. These items have meaning; most of them are from those corrupted rooms. They remind me of every mistake I have made, every flaw, every crack. Most of them started so small, almost unnoticeable, but the darkness twisted and enlarged them into monstrous shapes that torment me endlessly. We must walk slowly if we want to make it through unscathed.

Now, it is so dark here that not a single prick of light can be seen. Don’t bother waving your hand in front of your face, it’s no use. You won’t see anything. Can you feel the darkness surrounding you like a cloak? I always feel it nestle itself all over my body, weighing me down. It fills my mouth and throat, making it difficult to breathe. It clamps my arms to my sides, making it difficult to move. It brushes against my face, causing me to shut my eyes tight and shrink away. But I cannot shrink away. It’s all around me, all around you. There is just one vital difference…

You can leave.

I invited you here, but you do not have to stay. You can leave this place, this strange, cold, unfeeling place. But I cannot. The darkness consumes me, controls me in so many ways, and no matter how hard I want, dream, wish, I cannot leave. I am forever trapped here. Trapped with this darkness that I am so familiar with. I suggest you leave while you still can; follow our footprints. Don’t touch anything, don’t interact, don’t acknowledge. I would hate for you to take this darkness back home with you, allowing it to corrupt your familiar place.

The most familiar place we can have is our mind, our consciousness. No one can ever see it, nor physically visit. We can only hope to describe it to curious others, and even then, we can only scratch the surface. Just like the glimpse I gave you. The small, tiny piece of a much larger maze of rooms and hallways.

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May 25, 2017

Creative Writing Class: Father’s Day

By solarisgaudium

Hello all! Life has been pretty hectic lately, so I haven’t been able to post here much. However! I have had the fantastic opportunity to take a creative writing class!! I’ve been having so much fun with this class, learning so many new things. One of the requirements for this class is to write a short story or a poem to show what we’re learning, and then have it critiqued by classmates. I’ve had so much fun writing these things that I have decided to post them here!

I will post my revised stories/poems here, one at a time so as not to overwhelm readers. My first one is a Non-Fiction piece about my Father’s Day trip, which I know I’ve mentioned before, but this time it’s more in detail about what happened during that trip! I hope you enjoy and I always appreciate any feedback you can give me! Thanks!

Father’s Day

“What in the world were you thinking, you idiot?! Oh wait! You weren’t!”

I kicked the side of the car, but not too hard since it wasn’t mine. That was probably a small reason why I was stuck on the side of the biggest highway I’ve ever been on in my entire life with not one drop of gas in the tank of my borrowed car.

“What the heck am I supposed to do now?!” I asked the speeding cars, but they payed no heed. As I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket I glared at the exit literally 20 feet away from me, the gas sign mocking me at how close I had gotten to a pit stop.

Luckily I had my mom on speed dial. As soon as she answered I fought back tears as I explained my situation: stuck on the side of the road with no gas and still at least three hours to drive. This seemed to be a recurring pattern for me. Every time I tried to go on a trip completely on my own, something catastrophic happens.

Just as my mom was giving me instructions, a truck parked behind me and a gentleman about ten years older than me hopped out. I kept my mom on the line, just in case, and waited for him to come to me. “Is everything alright?” he asked over the din of cars.

I hung my head in shame, “no, not really! I ran out of gas.”

I expected him to laugh at me. It was no less than what I deserved, and I wasn’t done beating myself up over it. Instead, he nodded and told me to wait for a sec while he returned to his truck. After digging around the back he came back with my rescue: a gas can. “I’m with the state roadside assistance, we’re prepared for pretty much anything. If you want I can give you about three gallons of gas or so until you can make it off of that exit over there and fill up.”

I told myself I wasn’t going to cry, but it was very difficult to keep that commitment without talking. With a cracking voice I asked how much I would owe him, already trying to calculate how much three gallons would cost.

“It’s completely free, the state covers the expenses.”

Yup, there are the tears. I thanked him profusely and told mom what was happening, who then wanted me to thank him for her as well. The man gave me a survey card for me to fill out, told me his name, and stayed on the side of the road until my car started and I was on the road again.

I made it to the gas station and sat at the pump, trying to get control over my emotions again. My eye caught the envelope on the seat next to me, it’s pale blue paper contrasting against the dark gray leather, and the stark black lines reading “DAD”. I remembered the whole reason I was on this trip, and that helped me get back into gear. My trip wasn’t over quite yet, but hopefully this was going to be the extent of my problems.

I reached Pennsylvania without further incident and I was looking the apartment complex my dad was living in. I quickly became confused, Google maps was confused, and I was strongly reminded that my sense of direction was very lacking. I slowly circled the three different buildings looking for C, my phone already pressed to my ear listen to mom trying to help.

“I can see which building you need from the pictures Dad sent me, but I just can’t figure out where it is in regards to where you are,” Mom told me, sounding a bit exasperated. “It really shouldn’t this hard!”

I laughed, “yeah, well, this is me we’re talking about, remember?” As I turned the same corner for about the fifth time already, I groaned out loud and hung my head. “I found it… I’ve been driving past it this entire time. The letter is missing from the wall.”

I heard my mom sigh in relief, “Oh good! At least you found it!”

“Yeah, good point. I do feel a little silly though. I’ll talk to you later, love you!”

I said good bye to mom and quickly pulled into a parking spot, praying that there wasn’t a guest parking I had to worry about, and exited the car with my package.

The red brick building towered above me, at least two stories high, with fenced balconies made of painted metal. I stepped up to the door that had a panel of buzzers for each apartment, some of the labels so faded that I couldn’t read them. I quickly found dad’s apartment number and pushed the button, anxiety trying to bubble it’s way up while I waited. What of this still wasn’t the right building? Or maybe I rang the wrong buzzer and I disturbed some other resident?

The door still didn’t open, which brought on a whole slew of worries. Did I ring an empty apartment? Was dad not home? Was he okay?? I took a deep breath to try and calm myself. If I kept going I would come up with the worst possible situations and work myself up over what was most likely nothing.

“Are you trying to get in?” I looked up with a start at an old man who was standing on his balcony looking down at me.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I’m here to visit Jay, is this the right apartment?”

The man nodded, “Yes! Here, I’ll let you in, just give me a moment.” I thanked him as he shuffled back into the building, and a short moment later the front door buzzed, letting me know that I could now enter.

As soon as I stepped in my nose was assaulted by the strong cigarette smell that all old apartments seemed to have. I ignored it however and found the door to dad’s room and knocked.

“…Hello??” a deep voice called out, sounding very confused.

“Hey Daddy!” I called back.

“Jasmine?!” I laughed to myself at the image I had of Dad’s surprised look, “Hold on!” I heard various noises as he worked his way to the front door, still grinning to myself.

The door opened and dad stood there, his frizzled fu manchu mustache the only hair on his head and pure shock on his face. “Jasmine! What are you doing here? Come in!”

I stepped into his apartment, absently noting the messy state of the floor, and hugged him tightly. “Happy Father’s Day daddy!”

He hugged be back tightly, “Oh, thank you honey! This is definitely a surprise! I wasn’t expecting you to come all the way down here.”

I looked up at him, “Well, I figured that since it had been a few years since I got to spend Father’s Day with you in person and I was only a few hours away this time I would come say hi.” I handed him the card and wrapped gift, “So here I am!”

Dad took the gifts and put them on his cluttered desk, repeatedly muttering “wow.” I knew I would surprise him, but not quite to this extent. “I was wondering who was ringing my doorbell! I never get visitors so I thought someone just rung the wrong one.”

I shook my head, “Nope, that was me. An old man living above you let me in.”

He grinned at that, “Ah, that would explain it. He’s really nice, isn’t he? I couldn’t ask for a better neighbor.” He looked around, muttering “let me find you somewhere to sit” and pulled up a folding chair. “Here you are. Wow, I can’t believe this! My daughter on Father’s Day, that is the best gift anyone could ask for!”

I just smiled. Being stranded on the side of the road, getting lost, every trial and stumbling block I had to deal was more than worth it to see the joy in my father’s face. It was the least I could do to thank him for the hard work he was doing in order to provide for his family.

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