Just Some Thoughts on my Mind

So I haven’t written about anything for a while, mainly because nothing big is happening right now, but yesterday I had an interesting day and I wanted to share that with you.

First off: I dyed my hair! It’s really cool!

It’s green! Well, the front and tips are. Man it was so much fun! I wanted something different and I decided I wanted to dye my hair, and it took FOREVER to figure out what color. I finally decided the day before I got it done that I was going to try for Jade Green, and I think it got pretty close 🙂 My favorite descriptions of the color is Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Fairy, and/or Mermaid. It makes me want to make a fairy costume specifically for my hair!

Now the thing I wanted to talk about ties into this new hairdo I have. One of my favorite things to do is mess with people’s heads. Even when I was a small, sweet and innocent 14 year old I liked messing with people. I used to be a janitor, and I ALWAYS had my MP3 player on me, and I would sing to my favorite songs really loud cause I knew I was the only one in the building. Well, I always wanted someone to say out loud how teenagers always have music playing and it would be heavy rock or the like (unfortunately it never happened), you know that stereotype, but in reality I was listening to piano and relaxing music like Pure Moods most of the time. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I started to really like listening to loud pop and a bit of rock music.

So that’s the kind of messing I like. I like to break stereotypes (at least in the beginning it was mainly stereotypes) and show people that I was no ordinary teenager. These days I’ve gotten pretty good at that, and my favorite thing to do is while I’m driving bus. I may have mentioned that I’m a school bus driver, and even  though I’m 21 I tend to look 16, and I love driving by police cars, because when the officers notice me, they tend to have a confused and sometimes a bit concerned look on their faces. It’s the best!

Anyway, the thing I wanted to mention about yesterday is that because I dyed my hair green, which is what young teenagers tend to do more than young adults, I felt like every time I was out in public I was shattering every stereotype in the world! Even though that really wasn’t true, I was really confident in myself, which I thought was a really great thing. But then I near the end of the day I started feeling sort of uncomfortable, like I shouldn’t be so proud of my comfort around people, and I started getting negative looks and feelings towards me. Let’s just say my depression started to get the better of me.

But then I read a post on tumblr. It read

“how the heck do people just stay motivated their entire lives? what drives you? I got out of bed once and i’ve been exhausted ever since.”

And someone replied with “You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself”

Now I didn’t completely agree with hating life, however I thought of it this way: Live in a way that life will regret ever trying to mess with you.

And that reminded me that I don’t have to care what other people think. I like my hair, I like the music I listen to, I like my clothes, and I like my way of LIFE, and that’s all that matters. I’ve heard that saying all my life, but now I finally understand how important it is to remember to like yourself, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

So I just wanted to share this experience, mainly because it’s been on my mind for a while, but I also wanted to share it for those who might need a reminder to be happy with you, like the song by Colbie Caillat “Try”. If you haven’t heard that song before, I suggest looking it up, because it’s such a good song! It’s one of my top faves!

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic day, and thanks for listening to my ramblings. TTYL!